That crazy piece of cheese           By: Justin Jacobs

Salmon Salmon, everywhere.

Why did you attack the bear?

Salmon Salmon, they killed the bear.

They teamed up and used a chair.

 

The Bear was mean and really old.

The Salmon, Strong and very cold.

The Bear threw rocks at people folk.

Goat goat goat goat goat goat molk.

 

So the Salmon beat the bear.

In the head with a chair.

Oh my god, let’s not stare.

What did you do to your hair?

 

Let’s watch the mighty fish prevail.

Let’s put Rem in the jail.

We’ll let Andrew pay the bail.

Look at funky black-bear Gel.

 

Lick and eat the yummy Jam,

from the bear.  The bear is Spam.

I once threw a big old ham.

Duck duck duck duck duck duck blam.

 

kick and twist, pull and stare.

At the molten stinky bear.

Jelly Jolly maggot-infested bear.

Oh the poor Salmon-vanquished bear.

 

The Bear the Bear, he is gone.

In the river, the trees and pond.

He bit the dust but wasn’t fond,

of being dead in a pond.

 

I looked at poor rotting-bear.

I ate a little of his hair.

Then some Salmon came back.

And ate the bear and a shack.

 

I ran and saw the salmon poop.

Some bear remains and some gloop.

So I hid in a tree.

please, won’t you help me?

 

The bear would smell and rot away.

I sat in the tree all day.

Then a traveling circus came by.

And this I spotted with my eye:

 

The elephants and ostriches.

The lions in their big cages.

The ring master and a little boy.

And a clown, and a toy.

(poodle)

 

The elephant tent was over the bear.

The elephants would point and stare.

At the gooey sticky bear.

Then one sat on said dead bear.

 

The Salmon wouldn’t stand for this!

Boy, were they ever pissed.

They hopped on land, and did this:

Dog dog dog dog dog dog kiss.

 

They grew some legs and real sharp wings.

Then some fangs and other things.

Udders sprouted from their head.

That there bear is really dead.

 

The salmon came over to the tents.

And ate the people there.  Dents.

They killed and killed and bit my leg.

I then hid inside the bear.  Keg.

 

The bear and I were now good buds.

I cleaned him up with some soap suds.

The Salmon left for Montreal.

Oh no, what will happen?  The ball.

 

So me and the bear will hide in woods.

Salmon cannot find our goods.

The Salmon took all of L.A.

Then they attacked, killed all I say.

 

They took over North America, and

then they moved to Europe.

They took over Asia and South America.

Then they got Africa, Australia and Montreal.

They didn’t want Canada though.  I don’t blame them.

Goat Chicken monkey.  Bahamas.  Dog.

Eraser.  Pencil.  Turkey.  Pog.

Play.  Red.  Yesterday.  Cow.

I think I’ll resume the story now.

 

So the Salmon took over the world.

Without even using ears.  Curl.

The bear and I used the bathroom, fears.

And cried bitter tears.

 

Then I figured, "Hey, why not?"

So me and the bear got

lots of weapons made of steel.

The bear was dead, so he couldn’t feel.

 

I took the bear Gel in a can.

I teamed up with a real cool man.

We went to the Salmon land.

And beat up mean ol’ Salmon ham.

 

We then beat the big bad guys.

And I went the capital,

of the Salmon: Montreal.

Oh dear me, the scary halls.

 

This is it.  The final fight.

We wrestle all day and night.

We play poker and checkers too.

Who will win?  Who who who?

 

I used the bear in the can!

I threw it at that Salmon man!

The Salmon melted and then died!

I saved the world with dead bear hide!

 

The salmon went back to norm.

Like the way when they were born.

Me and bear are real good friends,

We play Nintendo.  But bear is dead.

 

I spread the bear on my toast.

I rub it all over a roast.

I love that there bear the most.

Yum yum Jelly dead rotten bear.

 

Bear is dead, dead dead dead.

Killed by Salmon with chair to head.

Then Salmon become bad.

I beat ‘em up.  Bear is rad.

 

Goodbye bear.  You are nice.

Maggots on you look like rice.

He is being eaten by mice.

Fred Fred Fred Fred Fred Fred lice.

 

I like to talk ‘bout rotten bear dead.

I spread bear on my head.

Make my hair resemble bread.

Rem is in jail but isn’t red.

 

Rem is red.  In prison and old.

Covered by Salmon that are cold.

Andrew has to pay his bail.

Cause red cold rem is now in jail.

 

Richard is sticky.  Nate is too,

They battle in monkeys and Apes Poo.

My dead Bear dead Bear dead Bear dead.

Dinosaur is old and has no head.

 

So I like dead Bear and sad Salmon, too.

I’m done, don’t know what to do.

I’m finally done with my tale.

But I wont stop ‘till I’m in jail.

 

With Red cold Rem.  In jail.

Dear old bear.  In jail.

Dummy Andrew.  In jail.

Richard is weird.  In jail.

Mow the lawn.  In jail.

Bite dinosaurs.  In jail.

Make weird poems.  In jail

Salmon, Salmon.  In jail.

Me.         In jail.

Me.         No longer there.

I paid my my my my bail.

Goat.  Jail.  My.  Bail.

Dead dead dead dead dead dead bear.

Jelly sticky black jam bear.

Gel-like liquid gross and old.

It is smelly.  And cold.

Thank you.  End.